How to Make Oopsie Bread: The Adventures of a Non-Baker Trying to Bake Oopsie Rolls
Instead of “How to Make Oopsie Bread” wanted to name this post “I don’t want to talk about it.”
The reason why I never wanted to know how to make Oopsie bread before is that I knew it would end up like this.
While I love cooking, I do NOT enjoy baking. When I saw the recipe for Oopsie bread, involving whipping egg whites and performing the chemistry experiment of making them “stiff,” I knew it wasn’t for me. I’ve never been great at meringue. I had no desire to BE great at meringue. I decided lettuce wraps were good for just about any purpose…right?
Well, when I embarked on my 30 low carb sandwiches project, I knew I would need to tend to the Oopsie breadmaking, no matter the cost. And so I did.
The first round was a bit of a disaster. The yolks ended up in the whites, and I decided that it probably wasn’t that big of a deal (it is) and I was also too optimistic about using a hand mixer.
About five minutes into beating up my whites, I wielded my iPhone in one hand to Google techniques on whipping the eggs until they were stiff. Should it take five minutes? How much longer would I be standing here? They were foamy, but not even close to stiff. I blame the hand mixer and bits of egg yolk. About fifteen minutes into it, my hand fell off and I conceded.
I took my droopy egg whites and mixed everything together anyway, but it was a hot sloppy mess, so I resorted to the muffin pans.
That could work, right?
They were delicious, but they were basically little egg and cheese muffins. No “bread” in sight.
Knowing that I did just about everything wrong in the last batch, I decided to give it one more try. I used the stand-up mixer and I separated the yolks like a real professional!
After just a few minutes in the stand-up mixer, it was “stiff.”
While I was doing all this, in the span of about five minutes —which also involved mixing together the yolks and cream cheese with a hand mixer—I read that if you leave those “stiff” egg whites alone too long after mixing, they’ll separate and become unusable.
Panic set in.
I decided I WAS NOT DOING THIS AGAIN. So when the whites were “stiff,” I flung open the mixer, and all of the foam was stuck to the actual mixer, alllllll up inside of the whisk. I wrestled with the thing I’ve only used twice before and begged it to please just release the whisk so I could get the foam out, but getting it off felt like trying to fly the Tardis.
So there I was… thirty seconds on the clock with the threat of foam separating and starting over again.
Like some kind of girl scout, I drove my hands deep into the whisk, fetched out the giant glob of foam and plopped it into my bowl of mixed cream cheese and egg yolks. And not to waste any time, now that I was up to my elbows in foam, I ever so gently mixed the whole thing up with a few graceful swooshes of … my hand. Sanitary, I know.
Next, I took handfuls of the new foam mixture and plopped them onto the baking pan, with no real strategy whatsoever. Why use a spoon now, right? From there, I threw it in the oven and set the timer for 20.
This is what they actually look like straight out of the bowl.
Well, sort of. I turned around and discovered the white froth had frantically escaped my wrath and clung to cabinets, floors, dishwasher and my phone.
Thankfully, 20 minutes later, I had what I think was successful Oopsie bread. Or Oopsie rolls. Or whatever you call them. You can see evidence of my froth-throwing in that top one.
And they even stood up to holding (gently).
So I made a sandwich and called it a day.
To me, Oopsie bread isn’t nearly as rewarding as it should be for the effort involved. I’ll stick to my lettuce wraps! But if you decide to proceed here is the recipe, although it exists with a pack of Stevia and Splenda in other forms.
How to Make Oopsie Bread:
Prep Time: 5 minutes | Cook Time: 0 minutes | Total Time: 5 minutes
Nutritional Facts: 1g Net Carbs| 85 Calories | 7g Fat | 1g Carbs | 4g Protein | 0g Fiber
Recipe note: Depending on the pesto you use, your macros could change. Use My Fitness Pal’s recipe calculator to get more accurate net carb totals.
- 3 Eggs
- A pinch of Cream of Tartar
- 3 oz. Cream Cheese
- Pre-heat the oven to 300 degrees.
- Separate the egg whites from the egg yolks.
- In a stand-up mixer (not a hand mixer!) blend together the egg whites and cream of tartar for 5 minutes on high until “stiff” – aka super frothy and can stand up like the peak of a mountain.
- Meanwhile, blend together the cream cheese and egg yolks with a hand blender until the lumps are gone (about a minute).
- Add the egg white mixture into the cream cheese mixture gently with a spoon or spatula and try not to bust up all your froth.
- Use a large spoon to scoop out your mixture onto a greased baking pan. You should be able to make approximately six.
- Cook on 300 degrees for 20-25 minutes.