There are novelty cookbooks, and then there are weird cookbooks. There’s The Joy of Cooking, and then there’s The Un-Constipated Gourmet: Secrets to a Moveable Feast. For example, have you ever wondered what it would be like to cook as if it were 1938 and you were stranded in a lookout post? Because if you do, the U.S. Forest Service has put that together for you in The Lookout Cookbook: 1938.
Get your creative cooking skills together and wrap your head around the 10 weirdest cookbooks of the year:
1. Cookin’ with Coolio: 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price
by Coolio – Published Nov 17, 2009
Remember Coolio? If not, let me jog your memory. He hit the rap scene back in 1994 with a song called “Fantastic Voyage”, and followed it up with the theme song to that movie Dangerous Minds called “Gangsta’s Paradise”. Well he’s apparently hit the cooking scene hard, and despite the weird factor, is getting decent reviews.
In this weird cookbook, Coolio will show you “How to Become a Kitchen Pimp” when he dishes out recipes like “Soul Rolls” and “Finger-Lickin’, Rib-Stickin’, Fall-Off-the-Bone-and-into-Your-Mouth Chicken”. Look out Paula Deen!
2. HELLBENT FOR COOKING: The Heavy Metal Cookbook
by Annick Giroux – Published Nov 24, 2009
Get your drumsticks together, gather your goats, and lets make some heavy metal goat soup! It’s going to be so heavy metal, horns up!
Actually, this Heavy Metal Cookbook is a collection of favorite basic recipes by heavy metal bands from around the globe. Hey if Coolio can make a weird cookbook, why can’t thrashers like Sepultura, Anthrax and Nuclear Assault?
3. Love At First Bite: The Unofficial Twilight Cookbook
by Gina Meyers – Published Mar 7, 2009
You would think that this cookbook was one page long and had two recipes: human blood and animal blood. Maybe a bonus page on how to heat up refrigerated blood stolen from the hospital, but mostly the one or two pages. Sadly, this cookbook has nothing to do with juicing up your vampire cooking skills and instead has to do with some movie called Twilight. Anyone heard of it?
A few recipes from this gem include, “Bell’s Lasagna”, “Harry’s Famous Fish Fry”, Red Velvet Cake, “Blushing Bella Punch”.
4. The Un-Constipated Gourmet: Secrets to a Moveable Feast – 125 Recipes for the Regularity Challenged
by Danielle Svetcov – Published Jul 1, 2009
There are hundreds of eloquent ways to write the title of a cookbook, but Svetcov went for the gold on this on. Forget the medical terminology, step off the eggshells and we’ll just let you know that this colon-cleansing cookbook is going to put you on the pooper.
Guess what? Bran muffins are on the list.
5. The Lookout Cookbook: 1938
by U. S. Forest Service and M Knudson – Published June 16, 2009
Imagine it’s 1938. It’s you and one other person, stranded and hungry atop the trees in a small wooden box, unable to call for food. Thanks for the U.S. Forest Service, you can replicate this scenario in 2009 with these “tried and approved recipes in amounts suitable for one or two men which can be prepared from the food furnished to the lookouts”.
by Patricia O’Grady – Published Sep 10, 2009
There’s no judgement being passed here if you’re buying a cookbook for your cat. That is, unless you’re children are in the backyard eating pinecones, and Fluffy is stuffing his face with a catnip covered tuna cake.
Yes, this cookbook includes healthy meals, treats, cakes and even ice cream for your spoiled rotten feline.
7. Eat Your Feelings: Recipes for Self-Loathing
by Heather Whaley – Published Sep 17, 2009
Forget the pint of Ben & Jerry’s ladies, instead Whaley wants you to put on your kitchen apron and throw together uncomfortable sounding recipes like “Stir Fry for Stretch Marks” and “Unwanted Pregnancy Kielbasa and Sauerkraut”. If you’re buying this cookbook, let the self-loathing ensue.
8. Spam – The Cookbook
by Marguerite Patten – Published on Sep 22, 2009
What’s great about this weird cookbook is that it’s only one of several cookbooks for SPAM. Because SPAM is so versatile that it requires an encyclopedia of recipes made public. Just a reminder that SPAM is “shoulder meat left over from the pork industry,” blended with ham. Even if you call them “Thai SPAM Cakes”, it’s still going to be ham in a can.
9. The Fertile Kitchen Cookbook: Simple Recipes for Optimizing Your Fertility
by Cindy Bailey and Pierre Giauque – Published Nov 20, 2009
Something about using the word “Fertile” in the name of a cookbook makes me think it’s entirely about how to cook eggs. Maybe some sausage too, but mostly eggs. Sadly, this cookbook is all about getting your babymaker into gear, and Bailey & Giaque have the little human to prove it works.
10. The Gangster’s Cookbook: Reputedly Found in the Kitchen of the Lexington Hotel (Volume 1)
by Eric T. Swartz and Tom Thomas – Published April 18, 2009
Throw on your fidora and gold chains, because it’s going to be a fist-pumping evening with the Gangster’s Cookbook. Al Capone was pretty tough, so don’t sissy out when you see the recipes that include chicken livers, hearts and brains. See also: The Mafia Cookbook!